Don’t cut me down. Don’t grind me up. Let me stay, let me feed the insects and fungi. Let me shelter the creatures of the woods and be a place for them to fight, mate, eat and get eaten.  Let me stand until I rot. Let me fall.

(6’ x 6’ 5” collage of black paper silhouettes)

I call this a successful fail. And I am showing you my failure.

This was meant to be a much more complex, dense portrait of the wonders and benefits of allowing a dead tree to stand; but I couldn’t finish it. I wanted roots. Broken chairs. Sprouting shoes. But working on something large, where I had to stay standing, was a mistake. Making something with a complicated composition was a mistake. Trying to keep “pushing through” was the biggest mistake. I was like a football player believing they need to keep playing through a torn hamstring.

But here is the success part—I let myself give up. I learned this month, in the body, precisely when to give up: when to turn away, take a nap, and move on. That is a successful lesson from a fail.